so last night/this morning, i read a book entitled Heaven is For Real. The story is written by a father who shares his son’s visit to Heaven and back during a near-death experience (NDE, I had no idea this was an emerging niche in the book publishing world).
having just put the book down, my emotions are still raw and i feel the need to slowly process this reading experience. still, i was incredibly moved but in ways i did not foresee. i thought i would be captivated with the images of God’s throne or Jesus’ sash (which is purple, by the way) or who sits on the left side of God (hint: it’s the angel who brings good news to both elizabeth and mary in luke’s gospel).
what gripped me was the stories of different people that this young boy, Colton Burpo, met. among the people he encounters is another sister he never knew about – an older sister who was miscarried at two months.
my parents went through two miscarriages – when i was 6 and 8 years old. both pregnancies were ectopic – the fetus had attached to a fallopian tube and not the uterus – and both miscarried after several months. with each miscarriage an ovary/fallopian tube was removed so after the second surgery, my mom became sterile. i remember visiting her in the hospital and seeing so much pain on her face. there was obvious physical pain because she had nearly died the second time but now as an adult who is trying to have a child of my own, i am beginning to see how much emotional anguish she must have gone through.
this book reminded me of those brief, harrowing days in my household when i was a 1st and 3rd grader. if i had a 1,000 reasons to go to Heaven, i now have 1,001: i wish to see my unborn siblings and hug them. moreover, i hope to thank God face to face for “adopting” them into His family.
until that day comes, i guess i will sing all the more loudly,
till i see you face to face
and grace amazing takes me home
i’ll trust in you.